Wedding Monogram Etiquette

A custom monogrammed item makes a beautiful + special keepsake gift for any occasion, but especially for weddings, brides, bridesmaids and beyond. Learn our best tips for proper monogram and personalization etiquette.

Wedding Monogram Etiquette

As spring approaches the invitations for bridal showers and weddings start flooding in. Amidst the wedding registries and bridal showers, a monogrammed gift provides a meaningful way for new brides to celebrate their new initial and add a personal touch to your gift. However, the monogram can be confusing when it comes to a wedding. Here are a few tips to ensure you’re following proper etiquette on your monogrammed gifts.

A basic monogram often consists of one or three letters. For a three-letter monogram, you’ll follow this format : first initial on the left, last initial in the middle (most often appearing larger than the other two letters) and the middle initial on the right. So my monogram would be ASL, Ashley Leckey Schoenith. This is a good monogram to use for anything the bride will be wearing or using AFTER the wedding. It is not proper to use a monogram that includes the brides NEW last name or initial until after she is legally married.

The exception to this rule is when registering for wedding gifts, the couple may request gifts be monogrammed or engraved with their married monogram for use after the wedding. These special keepsake gifts often become treasured heirlooms for yeas to come.

Many couples today have also opted to have a married monogram such as A&S (Ashley & Shane) or ASS (Ashley & Shane Schoenith … I guess for obvious reasons we won’t ever be using this one …). But a good reminder to write it out and see what it looks like prior to requesting a monogram to ensure you aren’t formulating any words you’d rather not have monogrammed on a towel in your home.

A single letter monogram (which represents the couples last name, so for me, S) is also a very popular choice, especially for lasting gifts in the home like a tablecloth or bar glasses.

For three-letter monograms it is important to remember that brides these days can differ in how they change their names (or if they do at all) upon marriage. For example, some choose to simply drop their last name and take on their husbands new last name. While others (like myself) choose to drop their middle name, move their maiden name to be their middle name and take their husband last name. For example, I was born “Ashley Suzanne Leckey” and my married name is now “Ashley Leckey Schoenith.”

For bridal showers or bachelorette parties, I will sometimes use a single letter for the brides first name (so “A” for Ashley) or a full name (Ashley). For a robe, slippers or anything she’ll be getting ready in the day of the wedding this is perfect to use.


A unique + thoughtful gift option is our monogrammed Society Handkerchiefs. We have a white + chambray option available making it the perfect gift for bride + groom. This sweet little gift is surely something the couple with treasure forever.

I’ve gotten some conflicting accounts on the monogram etiquette for a bridal handkerchief but think we have settled on a single letter (brides first name initial) or three-letter of her married name (first, last, middle). It can also be customary to add a wedding date to the embroidery, or a thoughtful line of sentiment wishing the bride well on her wedding day, such as “To wipe away your happy tears.”

And for a handkerchief for the groom, a single letter (last name) or three-letter (first, last, middle) or even three letter (first, middle, last – where all letters are the same size) are all customary and proper.

Aside from the monogram detailing, an apron makes an ideal statement gift for new brides, who will be soon settling into a new home, with new kitchen gear, new meals to cook and a whole host of reasons to entertain. She will be sure to get a good deal of use from her lovely new apron gift.

Last but certainly not least, each IceMilk Apron comes with its own “Heirloom Kit” which includes blank recipe cards, Heritage Tag, and Apron story card. Imagine this gift coming from a new mother-in-law, welcoming the new bride the family with a stack of family recipes and a lovely new family name monogrammed apron. What a special heirloom gift to be treasured for years to come.

And of course, IceMilk Aprons gift packages make a lovely gift for bridal parties for bridesmaid gifts as brides are racking their brains on what to get their closest friends in thanks for their support & lasting friendship.

While monogramming is a beautiful touch, it has to be done correctly. I hope this little guide helped you out with any monogram questions you had.

I’d love to know what some of your favorite wedding gifts to have monogrammed are in the comments below.


heirloomed is a lifestyle brand with a mission of “keeping heirlooms around for another generation.” Our blog features stories about family recipes, creating traditions with your family, interior design and entertaining by mixing new and vintage pieces, classic style, and small town + historic travel. Our shop features a collection of “goods inspired by the past, for generations to enjoy” with an array of products and meaningful gifts including linen apronstabletop linensartceramics and beyond. Learn more at www.heirloomedcollection.com

I’m an old soul based in Atlanta, GA and mom of 3 with a deep love of all things from the past with a story to tell, on a mission to keep heirlooms around for another generation - whether it be a tradition, splattered family recipe, or historic home.

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